Am I the only one who thinks that if Roger Goodell and the club owners stopped handing out multi-million dollar contracts like Skittles to street-thugs, that a good portion of this issue would dissipate???
Normally my little page of rants upon which you now cast your eyes gets about 30 to 50 hits a week. Over the past 10 days that number has jumped a bit…
to somewhere around 2,500 hits. Why? Good question…one I was curious about myself. Now one might think had I put up a post of scantily clad nubile females or gone on some rant using some key descriptive phrases describing various activities most frequently done behind closed doors that this might gain some attention. The truth is…I have not posted anything in this vein for quite some time. So why the sudden interest? My dazzling personality? My uncompromising wit? My masterful meme bon mots?
To quote a Python line…”Not as such.”
This is the post getting all the attention…indeed over 2,400 hits in the last ten days. Is there a massive school assignment concerning the life of ..you know…him????? Why is everyone in the world searching for..well..you know who (and it’s not Voldemort).
1. Tell us about your superstitions. Do you have any? Do you “x out” black cats on the windshield of your car, avoid cracks in the sidewalk or practice other rituals that make you feel safer?
Don’t have any? Come on now! Make up some….
If anyone eats cinnamon brown sugar oatmeal in front of me without first reciting the first six lines of Ozymandias, I wrap my feet in jello filled zip-lock bags for 36 hours.
Or do you want me to make one up?
2. Has anything paranormal ever happened to you that you can write about?
One snowy winter’s night I was visited by three spirits…who played Bell Bottom Blues on a zither, kazoo and moonshine jug. Insanity soon followed…
3. Have you ever had a near-death experience? Care to share?
Eating someone’s Crab & Licorice dip at last year’s office Christmas party. I saw God….she wasn’t happy…
4. Pheromones…aka “love fireworks” (I think I remember those)…are a force to be reckoned with. Do you believe that two people can have an uncontrollable chemical reaction to each other? How do you know this to be true?
Only when mixing c6h8o6 with the pulp of Sky Flower yellow berries will the proper chemical reaction take place. I know this to be true as it was whispered to me late one summer night by a flatulent wood sprite seeking my stash of Tums…
5. Do you believe that modern day witches can put spells on people?
If so, who would you like to hoodoo and why?
Indubitably. I want to cast a spell on any and every individual in government service to force them to speak only the truth…they’ll probably choke on their own sputum…
6. ESP! What do those letters stand for in your life?
Eleanor Samantha Paul….more commonly knows as Mrs. Paul as in fish sticks and fish cakes. This little honey whips up a mean tartar sauce…
7. Do you ever hear strange noises in your house?
If so, what do they sound like? Like this…
8. Tell us about a time you “knew” something was going to happen before it did. Are you one of those intuitive types or do you know someone who is ? Do tell.
Unquestionably. For example I know, for a fact, that the next question will be #9. Isn’t that amazing? These insights just shoot through the ether into my brain…
9. (See???) I’m a tad gifted in the dream department. Really. Sometimes my dreams are prophetic and come true. It can be a blessing and a curse. Has this ever happened to you? If not, would you like to have this gift? (Be careful what you wish for. It can be freaky at times.)
If my dreams came true, cooked carrots would be banned, the national bird would be a ferret, Ann Coulter would be a deaf-mute, the entire Bush family would be in charge of scraping up roadkill off the nations highways and anyone who every uttered the word “fallacious” to describe…well…you know….would hung by their tonsils until smart.
Back when I was a lad, we had these large black platters called “albums” or “LPs”, and if you know what “LP” stands for you’re right here with me. These albums virtually forced musicians into a 4o minute recording format, separated into two 2o minutes oeuvres that had their own flow and timing with the the context of the full 40 minute experience. Unlike today, when artists can create close to 80 minutes of stuff on a single disc (and beyond if they go pure digital), musicians had to pick the cream of the crop to be included within the 40 minute presentation. Judicious editing and and feel for the presentation had to be taken into account.
Thus, there were times when one 20 minute play, or one “album side” was an experience in itself. Many a radio station created promotions to boost audience share with such tricks such as “Perfect Album Sides” or “Desert Island Disc” or some other cutesy name (having worked in radio for many a year, trust me when I say that originality was not at the forefront of these promotions. Many a jock/program director would visit different cities to hear what other stations were doing and with fervent hedonism reproduce the promotion verbatim, claiming it as their own).
Given this babbling intro I was thinking back to what I considered to be the perfect album side; a collection of well written, well performed songs lumped together in perfect flow. Let’s take it for granted that side 2 of Abbey Road would be included. Additionally I’m avoiding sides encompassing a single piece (In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, Close To The Edge, etc). Anyway – the five that readily come to mind in no particular order…
1. Side 2 – Tumbleweed Connection – Elton John: This was EJ at his peak. Sure he’s had massive commercial success since but this side has nary a flaw.
2. Side 2 – A Live One – Louden Wainwright: Yes he’s sick and twisted but this is such a fun series of tunes…
3. Side 2 – Aqualung – Jethro Tull: I still can’t figure out what Locomotive Breath is all about….
4. Side 1 – Dark Side of The Moon – Pink Floyd: Really this is perennial given like Abbey Road.
5. Side 3 – Quadrophenia – The Who: Mostly for Moon’s drumming but Bell Boy is MY song….
Human nature is such an odd thing, how some people act with unquestionable integrity and a solid moral center. Then there are those whose integrity is for sale and whose morality doesn’t even wave at conviction or consistency.
You know………….politicians.
Taking a glance at the source for many things political, C-SPAN, there sat Neil Barofsky being interviewed. Two points if you know who he is (I didn’t know until about ten minutes ago so I’m batting .000). Uncle Neil is the Inspector General of the TARP program, that wonderful, thoughtful solution where we turned all our money over to the likes of AIG and GM. Mr. B was saying that we should in no way expect a dollar for dollar return on the money we gave to these institutions through the bailout.
We shouldn’t??? Oh, so it was a gift? Can we all take a couple million off our taxes for charitable donations? Imagine if, say, Warren Buffet (no relation to Jimmy…I think) made all his investments without expecting a dollar for dollar return. He’d be a frequent diner at the local soup kitchen if that was the case.
I certainly don’t remember ANYONE in the government say we were not going to get our money back. In fact I seem to remember TARP being flogged as an investment that will yield great returns for the country. At the one year anniversary of TARP, the Prez said Americans were making a 17% return on their money. Really?? Should I expect a check any time soon.
Who knows who is telling the truth anymore. Numbers can be cooked to support anything. And while pundits on both sides of the political spectrum spend most of their time in the sandbox thinking up names to call their opposition, the average sucker (re: you and me) continues to get butt-fucked.
Yet where is there a comforting place to turn? With whom can we have even a modicum of faith that these idiots might have a clue what real life is all about. It brings to mind the classic words I have posted before….
1. How do you find your own personal peace/nirvana?
Finding a place in nature to be alone. Primarily the beach, but a walk in the woods practicing Zen mindfullness also works well. Sometimes it’s just sitting in the grass on a warm day with the sun in my face.
2. Where do you go to find respite and solace? Is there a particular place, city, country, room in your house? The beach, without question, especially in the twilight hours as the sky turns orange and purple and lights start popping on in the beach front houses. When a sandy shore is not within reachable distance I have two CDs that do the trick…One is 60 minutes of ocean waves and the other is 75 minutes of gentle rain.
3. Who is the most peace-loving person you know? What makes them so?
Hmmm…define peace-loving. If you mean peaceful in personality and action that would be my friend Anita. If you mean peace-loving in terms of anti-war, I seem to be surrounded by Hawks….probably Randy.
4. What do you do when your inner peace is threatened?
Do you have a strategy, a routine, religious faith, a mantra……to calm yourself down? Prayer, a short walk, a plan to walk through whatever is doing the threatening.
5. What is your favorite comfort food? Cake. Just about any kind (as long as it has frosting). Then there is always fried chicken, pizza and pot roast….
6. Do you have a pet that brings you happiness and peace? If not, what type of animals bring you peaceful thoughts? Dogs…love dogs.
This is Sydney whom you’ve met previously.
7. What is your favorite peace song?
Snoopy’s Christmas
8. Did you post a peace globe on November 5th and participate in BlogBlast For Peace?
Unfortunately, no.
First, I’m doing NaNoWriMo this year. I haven’t done it since 2005; the results of that effort is the novel that is oh so close to being shopped around. We’ll see if I can make it this year…a lot of other shit going on that wasn’t before, time will tell.
TOT: I was on chocolate dispensing duties last night with the Mrs. out-of-town. A passel of kids were able to sneak in some candy grabs before the heavens opened up around 7:30. As some of you may know I live in a culturally diverse neighborhood; that is to say the majority of residents are split between Asian, Middle Eastern, a smattering of Ukrainian and a few of us WASPs for good measure. What struck me last night was how polite the Asian and Middle eastern kids were, saying ‘thank you’ and wishing me a happy Halloween. It was impressive. Not that everyone else was surly, that was left for the WASP teenagers who didn’t even bother to costume up. But then again I have to remember that in Roget’s handy book the first entry under “surly” is “teenager”…and vice versa.
Health Care – I spent some time trying to digest the House bill on health care now being flogged in DC. An impossible task at best. The friggin’ thing is over 1900 pages long and appeared to have a sufficient amount of special interest handouts. But trying to get a grasp on how the system will work and how it will be paid for? This thing was written to keep us average schmucks in the dark. After an hour of perusal I still didn’t know any more than I did before I started other than the Native Americans in Montana have their own special rules based on tribe size and that employers are going to get hammered.
The economy. The (insert country here) War. Health Care. Political corruption. Corporate corruption. Unemployment. U.S. homelessness….
1. Side 2 – Tumbleweed Connection – Elton John: This was EJ at his peak. Sure he’s had massive commercial success since but this side has nary a flaw.
2. Side 2 – A Live One – Louden Wainwright: Yes he’s sick and twisted but this is such a fun series of tunes…
3. Side 2 – Aqualung – Jethro Tull: I still can’t figure out what Locomotive Breath is all about….
4. Side 1 – Dark Side of The Moon – Pink Floyd: Really this is perennial given like Abbey Road.
5. Side 3 – Quadrophenia – The Who: Mostly for Moon’s drumming but Bell Boy is MY song….
Dogs…love dogs. 
First, I’m doing NaNoWriMo this year. I haven’t done it since 2005; the results of that effort is the novel that is oh so close to being shopped around. We’ll see if I can make it this year…a lot of other shit going on that wasn’t before, time will tell.
