I wish I had thought of the following when I was a parent of teenagers. The following came via email from a good friend of mine who now, in my eyes, has gone beyond the mere status of “Mom” into “Uber-Mom-Ness”. I’ve changed the names to protect the guilty. For those with kids approaching the teen years….listen up……..

I actually hade to “fake” call the cops on my daughter (age 14 and a freshman this
past year can you friggin believe it???) one day because she had a meltdown and
refused to go to school because her sister got in the shower first. It
didn’t matter to her that there is another shower down the hall. I
didn’t have ANY patience left so I picked up the phone out of her line of
vision and said to nobody on the other line, “Hello? Is this Township
Police? Yes? Well, this is Mrs. at .
I’m calling to let you know that YadaYada High School will be calling you
this morning because my daughter, Cruella, will be marked as absent from school
today. Cruella does NOT have my permission to stay home so I’m reporting
her TRUANT. Yes I’ll hold . . . (pause for effect) . . . Yes, I’m still
here. I just want you to know that you have my permission to break
down the front door if Cruella refuses to open it — I know that my homeowner’s
insurance will pay for the damages. OK?? OK then. You have a
nice day, too.”
All you could hear from Cruella in her room is this kind of
screechy/wail was, “Jesus Christ, Mom!! I can’t believe you called the
friggin COPS on me!!”

How awesome is that??????? Cruella did end up at school…showerless…but at school none the less….



Filed under children, comedy

2 responses to “ATTENTION ALL MOMS !!!!

  1. snowelf

    Uber mom-ness, most definitely.
    I’m filing this away in the underground book of Evil Parenting, 101.


  2. KFarmer

    Now that’s my kind of mom 🙂

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