1. You are a guest on the space shuttle. You just arrived on the moon and realize you forgot something back home that you can’t live without. What is it and how do you convince them to go back and fetch it?
My green Sharpie…How am I going to label everything without it? I tell them I’m going to run the lunar rover off the edge of a crater if they don’t get my pen.
2. Pretend you are a teacher in a rough public school for one day. You have been assigned to teach Manners 101. You have the “challenging bad ass kids” class. They are jumping up and down, cursing, and throwing things at you. What is the first thing you would write on the board?
What the hell are you doing here?
3. Someone in your family or a friend has started a blog. They think it is anonymous but you have figured it out. They are saying derogatory things about you. Do you tell them or do you read it for awhile?
How would you handle it?
Head down to the army recruting and sign them up…
4. If you had one dollar left in your pocket, what would you spend it on?
I’d gather a couple thousand people who also had just one dollar and we’d spend it collectively on a surgical procedure to have Rush Limbaugh’s mouth permanently sewn shut.
5. President Obama and the First Lady are coming over for dinner. What do you serve?
6. You walk in on your lover. They are trying on your clothes. What do you do?
OK I’m confused here…do I have two lovers? Who are “they”??? My lover and her tailor? Santa? Don Rickles?
7. Every astronaut must have shots! Choose your vaccination: You only get one and you can’t enjoy any of the attributes of the other choices. You choose either: (1) The fountain of eternal youth and sexual vigor but only for 10 years (2) perfect health for a lifetime (3) eternal mind-numbing nirvana and peace of mind (4) unlimited hedonism for one year with no negative consequences.
Easy…number 4…as long as I can use the Long Count version of the Mayan Calendar……