meme stew

thequeensmemeLOGOUSEa1. If you could put thyme in a bottle, what is the first thing that you’d like to do?
Make sure Parsely, Sage and Rosemary were well cared for…

2. Do eggs really crack or do they merely have a nervous breakdown?
It’s more a philospophical conundrum of eggsistential thought…

3. Why are you whipping the butter? What did it ever do to you?
The butter asked for it.  Honestly.  Anyway the handcuffs kept sliding off..

4. Do your spoons spoon in the drawer? Have you ever noticed? And more importantly, if wooden spoons spoon do they get splinters?
My spoons spoon like Easter has belly jeans… (get it???)
They’ll get splinters only if sliding down the banister…

5. You hear: “Dumpling, my Dumpling, come hither.” The candles are lit, the fondue is dipping, the Godiva is pouring, the scallions are steaming and the music is playing…..but wait, the windows are open.
Why did you close them?
To keep the Dragoons at Bayleaf

6. Do you need a recipe to cook or are you a bohemian chef? Show us your reckless and wild side in the kitchen. Don’t have one? Here’s a recipe I made just for you: You will need a spatula, a whisk, a gallon of Chardonnay, a banana and a rump roast. What is the name of your dish?
 2 lbs smoked squid, 12 eggs, 7 jalepeno peppers, 1 cup of Jack Daniels, 6 grapefruit and Cap’n Crunch – The Spanish Main Inquisition
7. After dinner, the dishes are so dirty that the dishwasher refuses to wash them.
What did they say to get in hot water?
Your mother was a Kelvanator…

8. Is your pot black?
Does the Pope shit in the woods?

9. What is the sexiest spice or condiment in your cabinet? What makes it so?
Ground Chilean Iquana Toes – if you’ve tried it…you know

10. How much crock is really in your crock pot?
Enough to make the government look like it accomplishes something…anything

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2 Comments

Filed under meme

2 responses to “meme stew

  1. ok, i can’t steal this one because thw first several answers were damn near identical to what i’d have said. get out of my head, dammit!

    and, well done. i bow before you.

  2. I am literally laughing out loud at these answers. Oh my Lord. I wish this had been up earlier last week (I know you were sick) so that everyone could have enjoyed it.
    Kelvanator….Pope in the woods…..Easter belly jeans…handcuffs. You made my day. I so needed a laugh tonight. Thank you!

    Are you better now?

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