Exciting Breakthrough

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet
known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant
neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it
an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons..
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be
detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally
take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 40 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 4 years. It does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming
isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to
believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an
element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has
half as many peons but twice as many morons.



Filed under america, comedy, government, politics

5 responses to “Exciting Breakthrough

  1. I could have sworn there were bozons involved, but then again, I am not a nucular physicist…


  2. After spending 16 days on the east coast on vacation, my BUTT is the heaviest element for the moment!! Or at least it feels that way. SOOOOOO much good food in NYC

  3. Buddy Rich (he’s across from the post) was an SOB (from my studies) but Judas H. Priest he was so talented wasn’t he?<–Our Forefather! Was it BR or Gene Krupa who said(not verbatim), If you're good, really, how many drums do you need?

    Personally, I love a big drum kit. But as you know when you go into the studio, well a lot of them want you to use their drum machine because it takes so long to mic the drums or so they say. (I do personally think it's good to practice on them) It never sounds the same though and I can listen to some recordings and tell who had to use the drum machine. Poor bastards, I know!

    Just for shitz-n-gigglez, who do you believe to be a really great drummer. I'll be curious to see if we're on the same page. I do hope it will not be Ringo Starr who touts that he is the greatest drummer alive.


    I'm back, I had to vomitus!

    Anywho, this is some funny shit, whoops, I mean quite the breakthrough. The question will be how to apply it?

    Big Hugz

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