magical memes

#14 -Do You Believe in Magic?

1. Tell us about your superstitions. Do you have any? Do you “x out” black cats on the windshield of your car, avoid cracks in the sidewalk or practice other rituals that make you feel safer?
Don’t have any? Come on now! Make up some….

If anyone eats cinnamon brown sugar oatmeal in front of me without first reciting the first six lines of Ozymandias, I wrap my feet in jello filled zip-lock bags for 36 hours.

Or do you want me to make one up?

2. Has anything paranormal ever happened to you that you can write about?
One snowy winter’s night I was visited by three spirits…who played Bell Bottom Blues on a zither, kazoo and moonshine jug.  Insanity soon followed…

3. Have you ever had a near-death experience? Care to share?
Eating someone’s Crab & Licorice dip at last year’s office Christmas party.  I saw God….she wasn’t happy…

4. Pheromones…aka “love fireworks” (I think I remember those)…are a force to be reckoned with. Do you believe that two people can have an uncontrollable chemical reaction to each other? How do you know this to be true?
Only when mixing c6h8o6 with the pulp of Sky Flower yellow berries will the proper chemical reaction take place.  I know this to be true as it was whispered to me late one summer night by a flatulent wood sprite seeking my stash of Tums…

5. Do you believe that modern day witches can put spells on people?
If so, who would you like to hoodoo and why?

Indubitably.  I want to cast a spell on any and every individual in government service to force them to speak only the truth…they’ll probably choke on their own sputum…

6. ESP! What do those letters stand for in your life?
Eleanor Samantha Paul….more commonly knows as Mrs. Paul as in fish sticks and fish cakes.  This little honey whips up a mean tartar sauce…

7. Do you ever hear strange noises in your house?
If so, what do they sound like?

Like this…

8. Tell us about a time you “knew” something was going to happen before it did. Are you one of those intuitive types or do you know someone who is ? Do tell.
Unquestionably.  For example I know, for a fact, that the next question will be #9.  Isn’t that amazing?  These insights just shoot through the ether into my brain…

9. (See???) I’m a tad gifted in the dream department. Really. Sometimes my dreams are prophetic and come true. It can be a blessing and a curse. Has this ever happened to you? If not, would you like to have this gift? (Be careful what you wish for. It can be freaky at times.)
If my dreams came true, cooked carrots would be banned, the national bird would be a ferret, Ann Coulter would be a deaf-mute, the entire Bush family would be in charge of scraping up roadkill off the nations highways and anyone who every uttered the word “fallacious” to describe…well…you know….would hung by their tonsils until smart.

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9 Comments

Filed under dreams, meme

9 responses to “magical memes

  1. I loved each and every answer…
    perfect

  2. LOL

    1. wrap your feel?

    Bill

  3. Your answers were brilliant! I am not sure which one I like best, but #9 ….”would hang by their tonsils until smart.”, is hilarious!

    You won’t be going to the Dungeon with those magical answers.

  4. lmao @ 8 & 9 (i have no tonsils, so i’d be safe =P )
    and.. “Crab & Licorice dip”…??? that sounds yucky.

  5. You gotta watch out for those flatulent wood sprites 😉

  6. #1 cracked me up!!! I laughed out loud. Oh Lord.

    And then I read the rest and they were equally hysterical. You should definitely wax silly more often.
    You’re a riot.

  7. Yep, you are definitely a silly one! I think you deserve the Prince of Snark award, even! (Loved #1 the best! heh)

    Thanks for visiting Snarkypants!

  8. while i agree with the other assessments of your genius in answering this meme your repsonses raise more questions.

    1. what flavor jello?
    2. what were the names of the spirits?
    3. what kind of time table did god give for the unfolding of her wrath?
    4. do flatulent wood sprites account for the northern lights?
    5. no question here, just a hearty amen
    6. just a comment, i’d be mean too if i were whipped
    7. where did you find a recording of my teeth dragging on a chalkboard with a background of cats in a wine press?
    8. well, you know what i’m going to ask so i won’t bother.
    9. but ann coulter is a rabid ferret. do you really want HER to be our national bird?

  9. Hahahahaha, your answers cracked me up but cinnamon ……. I really don’t get why everyone loves cinnamon so much ……. especially in apple pie, shudder ……. I’m also wondering if it’s such a good a idea to ask …. what is c6h8o6?

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