This meme (#16) is called
You Are On Your Way
1. You are at a party in a very bad mood. There is an obnoxious guest with a camera snapping pictures of everyone in sight. Do you allow the photographs or ask them to stop?
That’s the perfect time for making obscene gestures and goofy faces…
2. You are shopping and watch the lady beside you at the jewelry counter slip an expensive diamond ring in her purse. What do you do?
Follow her to her car, jot down the license plate, track down her name and address, contact her husband to say she’s banging the landscaper while he’s at work and send her an email asking for 500K blackmail…
Or just smack her in the head…
3. You are on your way to a black tie affair and running late. You are the guest speaker at this event and everyone is waiting for you. A police officer pulls you over for speeding. Do you make up a story or tell him where you are going and try to talk your way out of the citation? Tell us your excuse.
Its like this officer…I was on my way to the speaking engagement when my kid was arrested for trafficking bootleg Jonas Brothers CDs. It turns out the merchandise came from clandestine terrorist Amway salespeople who were threatening my kid with tattooing the likeness of Amy Winehouse on his girlfriend’s chest. The three of us had to seek asylum at the Consulate of All Things Sticky where there was a massive line to get in as this was the day a naked Alanis Morissette was securing herself to the building with double sided tape.
4. You are on your way downstairs on Christmas morning to see what Santa Claus left. There are no gifts under the tree. He leaves a note that reads, “You’ve been VERY naughty this year.”
What did you do??!
See number three and imagine twelve people prying me loose from miles of double stick tape.
5. You are halfway through a first date with someone you really like. Suddenly your ex walks in and sits down at the table beside you. What do you do?
6. You are on your way to meet a billionaire. She is going to give you enough money to live on for the rest of your life IF you can answer this question correctly: Which came first the chicken or the egg?
Tough to tell…they were both making so much noise I couldn’t concentrate on my raspberry jam statue of Eartha Kitt…
7. You are on your way to the sun and moon and stars for an intergalactic vacation.
You crash into a rainbow.
What do you find in your pot of gold?
A shitload of left socks…