1. I, Mimi Pencil Skirt Peace Woman, have officially declared war on Valentine’s Day. If I see one more chocolate rose covered in stupid red tin foil paper I’m gonna have a fit. What did you get for Valentine’s Day?
The ritual flaming mattress dance
3. What could you have done differently yesterday to make the day sweeter?
Without being specific it involves Karo Syrup and SOS pads
4. How many roses make a dozen?
Make a dozen what?
Our favorite 900 line numbers…
6. My kingdom for a man who can spell. I am so tired of getting text messages from college educated 45 yr old men like …..I miss u ….wat up?…. B there by 8… or the ever popular U home? Does your significant other have an annoying cute little habit you’d like to break?
y no. i c evrythng as a thotful acshun.
7. What did you get someone for Valentine’s Day, if I may ask?
8. No one is looking. I promise.
Write one word on this candy heart you’ve been dying to say to a romantic connection from your past. I will not tell.
9. Be a poet. Write a 4-line poem starting with Roses are red….
Roses are red
Seven is prime
Never snort Ajax
Bath time with mayo
10. What song best describes your Valentine’s Day experience this year?
11. Two cupids are in a knock down drag out fight on the floor of the Senate. One is a constituent from Venus, the other from Mars.
What is the name of the legislation are they fighting over?
The Dick Cheney Relocation Act…neither planet wants him.