heartless meme

The UnValentine Grumpy Meme

1. I, Mimi Pencil Skirt Peace Woman, have officially declared war on Valentine’s Day. If I see one more chocolate rose covered in stupid red tin foil paper I’m gonna have a fit. What did you get for Valentine’s Day?

Rose covered chocolate in Saran wrap…

2. What will you miss most about Valentine’s Day?

The ritual flaming mattress dance

3. What could you have done differently yesterday to make the day sweeter?

Without being specific it involves Karo Syrup and SOS pads

4. How many roses make a dozen?

Make a dozen what?

5. You and your love are getting matching tattoos for Valentine’s Day. What will they be?

Our favorite 900 line numbers…

6. My kingdom for a man who can spell. I am so tired of getting text messages from college educated 45 yr old men like …..I miss u ….wat up?…. B there by 8… or the ever popular U home? Does your significant other have an annoying cute little habit you’d like to break?

y no. i c evrythng as a thotful acshun.

7. What did you get someone for Valentine’s Day, if I may ask?

acid reflux

8. No one is looking. I promise.
Write one word on this candy heart you’ve been dying to say to a romantic connection from your past. I will not tell.

9. Be a poet. Write a 4-line poem starting with Roses are red….

Roses are red
Seven is prime
Never snort Ajax
Bath time with mayo

10. What song best describes your Valentine’s Day experience this year?

11. Two cupids are in a knock down drag out fight on the floor of the Senate. One is a constituent from Venus, the other from Mars.
What is the name of the legislation are they fighting over?

The Dick Cheney Relocation Act…neither planet wants him.



Filed under meme

13 responses to “heartless meme

  1. Who are you calling heartless??!
    You’re in the dungeon, Buster.

  2. Bath time with mayo??
    Ajax? Sos pads? Saran wrap…oh….I’m getting the picture now.

  3. Acid refux? Ha! I gave that gift too 🙂

  4. I would love to see the ritual flaming mattress dance!
    From a safe distance, that is!

  5. Most Excellent answers.
    See you in the dungeon, I’m the one clutching the vase of tulips hiding in the corner, surrounded by conversation hearts…

  6. my conversation heart says “bite me.”

    and the karo/sos thing has me itching just thinking about it.

  7. I had always thought wankle (as opposed to Wankel) involved a reciprocating action…


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