Maestra Mimi has a quiz for you today. How much do you think you know about the Olympics? See if you can go for the gold and answer these questions correctly. NO CHEATING unless you want to end up in the you-know-where.
1. What year were the very very very first Olympics held?
126 DZ (during Zeus)
3. In 1896 the first modern-day Olympic Summer Games were held. Which country won the most medals that year?
This is a trick question. The year 1896 doesn’t exist.
5. I predict that Blogging will become the next Olympic event recognized by the International Olympic Committee as a valid sport. How would you train for this event? And if you think it should be a team event, who would you include on your team?
All training to take place January through April in Key West. In order to keep the athletes properly hydrated during the rigorous training, speed blogging sprints will be limited to thirty minute periods followed by group showers from a hose by the pool. Naturally, clothing is optional. The team: The Fox News Business Babe Squad.
and Spuds McKenzie.
6. What do the five Olympic rings represent?
They mean Frodo has a shitload more walking to do.
7. No country in the Southern Hemisphere has ever hosted the Winter Games? Why?
8. What the heck is curling? Why should it be a sport??
Curling came into its own during the Great Broccoli Migration in the town of Fjroidghagtyhetsstan on Norway’s southern border. Two Norwegian fishermen, Sven and Master G-Money were trapped on their schooner amidst the annual Fjiordification. Unable to calculate whether they could walk from their vessel to the mainland some 5 miles to the north, they hit upon the idea of sliding 20 pound hunks of frozen sea scrod vomit along the ice, checking for weak spots along the frozen chunks. The intrepid fishermen made their way to shore and following much celebration of their safe return were summarily sent back to their ship as they had left behind the town’s mascot, Skippyborg, the 40 pound potato.
Why should it be a sport? What else is there to do in Norway?
9. Mark Spitz won 11 medals in the most combined overall medals category. What was his sport?
C. Looking good
D. Resigning from public office after a sordid scandal
E. Un-accessorized spelunking and wearing pumps with slacks that clashed.
10. In ancient times females were forbidden to watch the games.
What was the penalty for doing so?
Watching 96 straight hours of The View.
11. In 1908 the organizers of the London Olympic Games added another 385 yards in order for the royal family to have a better view of the finish line.
Which sport was it?
Contact Deer Gutting
12. What event would you like to see added to the Olympics? Why?
Meredith Salenger. For obvious reasons.
Extra credit and a guarantee you won’t end up with no medal or meal in the dungeon this week.
What was your favorite Olympic event or moment to witness this year at the 2010 Olympics?
You mean I missed it???? Damn.