i’d certainly watch it….

Here’s my idea for the next hit reality show.  It’s called I Can’t Believe You’re Still Walking On This Planet You Self-Absorbed Waste of Oxygen.

Here is the premise, which is loosely based on survivor, very loosely.  There is a spit of sand in the middle of the Amazon River.  A one acre piece of dirt with no trees, no rocks, no sticks…nothing.  The patch is surrounded by the Amazon;  it’s a full one hundred yards in any direction to get across the water and back to the mainland.  Each week, a special guest star is helicoptered in and dropped on the island with the goal of reaching the mainland.  Simple yes?  No.  The Amazon is infested with piranha at all times, and as the sun goes down, billions of hungry fire ants rise to the surface of the island (with a scorpion or two thrown in just for giggles) to spend the night feeding.  Good, huh?  The list of contestants is endless…

Michael Vick
Dick Cheney
Bill O’Reilly
Dick Cheney (on the off-chance he does escape.  If not just use his twin, Rush Limbaugh)
O.J. Simpson
The South Korean parents who let their 3 month old starve to death while they raised a virtual child online at the local internet cafe  – not making this shit up
The Lohan Family
The Spears Family
Peter Graf (tennis great Steffie Graf’s Dad, famous for punching spectators during tennis matches)
George Bush Jr.
Ann Coulter
Karl Lagerfeld (dumbass)
Anyone who plays the Pan Flute professionally.

See?  There’s the first series!  I think it’s a true ratings winner.  Raid or Coppertone or Mrs. Paul’s would jump at the chance to sponsor this shit.


Filed under america, celebrities, common sense, culture, game, media, TV

9 responses to “i’d certainly watch it….

  1. What did Karl Lagerfeld ever do to you? Get too much of the wife’s money?


    • Mr. L has made some disparaging remarks recently concerning the value of women…I guess I should say lack of value of any woman larger than dress size 0 (that’s zero) when the nationwide average size is 14. I’d like to take an ShopVac, jam the hose down his throat, put that baby on frappe and suck his lungs out….

      other than that I’m sure he’s a swell guy…

      • OK. Then you would have to add that other Mr. L, Ralph Lauren to the list as he was the one in the news recently for airbrushing an already thin model to coat hanger proportions.


  2. logo™

    Glenn Beck should be on the first season list and I wouldn’t object to Keith Olbermann being in the mix either.
    Pretty much any shrieky pop star, jackass politician, or obnoxious media personality is a good choice as far as I’m concerned.

    I won’t watch it. Don’t do “reality” shows, but I like the concept.

  3. how could you forget paris hilton?

    and after their recent boneheaded decision allowing corporations to contribute without restriction to political candidates i say the supreme court justices who voted in the majority are fine additions to the list as well.

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