The Never Should Meme
Brought to you from the sunny beaches of Somewhere whilst on vacation.
I actually believe that if “shoulds” and “nevers” were banned from the English language we’d all be better off. Who needs to live in absolutes? Should evokes unnecessary and unhealthy guilt.
Never is never enough no matter what you should be doing. Not ever! See? But in this fill-in-the-blank exercise you can be as dogmatic and brutal as you dare.
After today’s meme, lose the words.
Oh, never mind.
1. If I never see _that gunk that builds up under the fridge__again it will be too soon.
2. Should I meet my Maker tomorrow, I would ask for one more day on earth to __make sure I get the opportunity to send certain people on ahead of me…or at least send them to an alternative existence__.
4. I should always allow more time to _let the dog lick his balls (he gets so frustrated when I interrupt)__.
5. I should’ve never listened to __AM Radio__ while under the influence of ___a liver and whey shake__________.
6. I never __bake obscene cakes_____in my car but I should always carry ___Bosco__with me just in case.
7. I should spend more money on __double-sided day-glo duct tape___ because it makes me happy. I should spend less money on __tungsten-carbide drill bits___because it makes me sad.
8. ___Kidney stones__ should never be shared with strangers.
9. I should tell __Poppin’ Fresh___that I never really meant to __feed him to the cat___.
10. Never in a million years would I want you to know __the exponential representation of critical mass, as expressed in isotherms, needed to get my socks not just white, but bright.____.