10 things that would not taste better on a Ritz….

  1. Gefiltefish
  2. Mud
  3. Nell Carter
  4. Brake fluid
  5. One of Lindsey Lohan’s thongs
  6. George Bush’s nose hair
  7. Smegma
  8. That sand they use to soak up oil spills on the road
  9. Amy Winehouse’s saliva
  10. wood

Mini Meme

1. Rank your favorite colors. The colors will be blue,brown,black,green,purple,
Fuchsia, Celadon, salmon, forty

 2. What subject did you hate the most and why?
Everytime my parents brought up the subject of an at-home vasectomy business I would break out Spaulding-sized hives.

3. Where have you always wanted to visit?
The Museum of Questionable Medical Devices

 4. What is the kindest thing you have ever done for or to someone?
Ripped the duct tape off in one yank instead of very slowly

5. What was your favorite school you attended and why?
Has to be Occidental College for their magnificent course offerings:
The Phallus
The Unbearable Whiteness of Barbie

6. What do you think is the best invention ever and why?
Ear Wax – it has 1001 uses…

7. What age do you wish to be and why?
The Age of Liberalism

8. What makes you feel better when you are having a tough time?
Meredith Salenger

9. What is your favorite dessert to eat?
See #8

10. What field trip will you never forget and why?
Komaki, Japan.  In particular, the Hounen Matsuri fertility festival. Every March 15th, volunteers vie for the chance to carry a long wooden phallus (2.5 meters) across town to bestow its regenerative powers on the local crops, and to ensure fertility and fecundity among the residents.

11. What did you used to do at sleepovers?
The usual; eat funny bones until we puked, reveled in the wonders of Miss February, licked giant sweetTarts until our tongues bled.



Filed under marketing, meme

5 responses to “10 things that would not taste better on a Ritz….

  1. i am so glad i’ve already had breakfast….yeesh

  2. i will now have to google your #10… lol..

  3. YOU are hilarious, my friend!

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