back from the dead….pass the salt

I think my internet issues have been fixed  – hopefully i don’t jinx myself with that statement.  It got bad enough that I was totally without an internet since last thursday…i actually got a lot of other shit done…guess that’s a hint and a half for my ass…

onward….

The Let’s Go To Dinner Meme
We all love to wine and dine with our families and those we care about. Some of us talk about it. Some of us don’t. Regardless, we all have stories to tell…. past and present. Take a trip down memory lane or unfold your fantasy night out on the blog for all to read. We’re all ears. Waiter! Waiter!
1. When is the last time you went out to dinner with someone special? Tell us about it.
A balmy night on the Nantucket Shores in 1947 with Rosemary Kennedy.
(i’m going straight to hell, aren’t I…)

2. Show us a picture of your favorite cuisine.

<<<<<<<<

3. What is the funniest thing a man/woman has said to you lately?
<the place where I work> makes dollars, not sense.

4. What makes a gentleman a gentleman in today’s dating world?
Hmmmm…
 – Not belching the alphabet during drinks.
 – Knocking on your date’s front door instead of sitting in the car and honking the horn.
 – Not getting shit-faced.
 – Don’t take your date to a strip bar and make comparisons.
 – Asking about her interests is key, but don’t look around the room with a bored expression when she answers.
 – Showing up for your date in something other than a “I’m Peter North’s Fluffer” t-shirt.
 – If your date gives you a kiss good night, accept it with gracious civility.  Don’t grab her ass and start dry-humping her leg.
Are there any left? – last time I was in Target, they had several hundred back-ordered.

5. Is there anything you won’t tolerate when out to dinner with your significant other?
e coli

6. What type of ambiance do you enjoy in an eating establishment?
depends on my mood, and whether the bowling alley is open

7. Tell us about the worst public dining experience you ever had, whether it be a date or with your family.
After driving for 7 hours with family, finally stopping at a Howard Johnson’s at 9 pm, starving.  The food comes and the hamburger has pieces of glass in it.  We left, starving.  (true story)

8. What is the lamest or rudest thing a man/woman has said to you lately?
The special is liver and onions

9. Are you a good tipper?
Yes when the service is good, no when a big heaping bowlful of attitude is thrown on the table.

10. Do you ask for doggie bags when you leave food on your plate at a restaurant?
I ask for Himalayan goat bags.

11. What is your pet peeve about restaurants and dining out in general?
the whole cutsey-lame-white-yuppie happy birthday waiter sing-a-long bullshit at lame-white-yuppie chain restaurants.  Give it a rest please.  I don’t care if little janie just turned 12 and is celebrating her first menstrual cycle…I’m trying to eat here!

12. Do you prefer to order yourself or do you ever let your significant other order for you?
I’ve never seen me listed on a menu so ordering myself has never occurred.

13. Describe your most intimate romantic dinner ever. (fantasy or real)
Swanson Hungry-Man fried chicken TV dinner served on all fours by Jocelyn Wildenstein who mews like a kitten through the whole meal.

14. Do you enjoy piano bars?
No, I prefer Hershey’s.

15. If you could go anywhere in the world for dinner, where would it be and who would you be with?
a beach bar with a large group of friends

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5 Comments

Filed under food, meme, technology

5 responses to “back from the dead….pass the salt

  1. lmao…. “the whole cutsey-lame-white-yuppie happy birthday waiter sing-a-long bullshit at lame-white-yuppie chain restaurants. Give it a rest please. I don’t care if little janie just turned 12 and is celebrating her first menstrual cycle…I’m trying to eat here!”… that is a great answer!

  2. personally, i order yak bags. also i tip cows, not servers.

  3. Did you jinx yourself?

    Bill

  4. #7:

    In Toledo, Ohio, at a restaurant attached to a third-rate hotel, we had to argue with the waitress, the hostess, and the manager for fifteen minutes to convince them it was okay to serve us red wine that no one had remembered to put any of in the refrigerator.

    The food was not memorable. The tip was insignificant.

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