meme of independence

French philosopher, Voltaire (1694 – 1778) wrote….
“Man is free at the moment he wishes to be.”
This is your moment. What sayeth you on the subject of freedom?
Fill in the blanks. Make your own Declaration of Independence.
Freely choose your destiny. Embrace your inner freedom.
Some questions are serious. Some are silly. All are revealing. Have fun!

 

I hold these truths to be self-blevident! (That’s blog + evident for all you non-blog speakers)

I declare myself to be free from grit.

I wish I could free myself from these fuzzy handcuffs.

I am thankful that Jesus freed me from a vat of moist tender vittles.

I don’t mind paying for full body massages but bikini car washes should be free.

I am free to sit on laundromat washers during the spin cycle over and over again. In fact, I look forward to it!

If I could choose one freedom I don’t have today it would be the freedom to publicly wear a flaming banana peel skirt.

In a free and perfect world there would be no lima beans.

I am going to write my Declaration of Independence on a piece of oak tag (who the hell came up with that name anyway???).

I wouldn’t mind being taxed on Raquel Welch but I highly resent being taxed on Joan Rivers.

When I was younger I was free to eat Good Humor popsicles but now that I’m older I prefer to put them on my head and let them melt slowly.

I declare myself free from the destructive habit of going to the mall and switching the mens/ladies signs on the bathroom doors.

I declare myself joyfully addicted to linoleum !!!

I don’t think the world will ever be totally free of ann coulter.

With complete abandon, I free fall into butterscotch pudding.

In a hypothetical Superman existence, I would use my power to do good doing by reversing the earths rotation to turn back time about 50 years and try it all again.

I wickedly use my power to do evil by joining both houses of congress and using my x-ray vision to set fire to anyone who says something stupid (should have ’em all cleared out in a week).

If I weren’t so dependent on teflon I could be truly independent about Brillo pads  (yeah, i don’t know either).

When I need to free my thoughts from stress and worry, I hit myself in the head with a ball-peen hammer.

I would like to freely kick Bob Costas in the seat of his/her hypothetical pants (Of course he’d have to stand on a stool or pile of phone books).

I want to force kim kardashian to scrub toilets every single day and pay no consequences.

I want the freedom to let my silliness run amok also and enjoy super-soaker whipped cream battles with women from the convalescent home every single day.

If I could re-write the Freedom of Information Act I would remove the letter “K” from the public record.

I daily need the freedom to create the impression that Nancy Pelosi and Sarah Palin have secret lesbian trysts and I don’t give a bamn what anybody else thinks about it.

If I had the power to throw one person in jail it would be Dick Cheney and a pack of rabid raccoons.

If I had the power to free one person from bondage of any kind it would be Roger Moore.

If I could “speak truth to power“, I would say to the world:  knock it off already

The 3 most important freedoms I have in my life are: life, liberty and the pursuit of edible body paint.

My favorite freedom song is Chains by VanHalen.

Now, present your work to the Blogosphere and sign it.
I choose bloggers Mimi and Xmichra and Lime to sign my Bloggers Declaration of Independence as witnesses. They will hold me accountable and share in my debauchery lofty ideals.

Now go forth and be free, my children.
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7 Comments

Filed under holiday, meme

7 responses to “meme of independence

  1. A lino addict? That floored me!

  2. well. the letter K being removed seems pretty unfair. I vote for ‘A’. : )

    hehe… bikini car washes should totally be free!

  3. I’ll have to apply for an exemption to your FOI adjustment, because as a Duke fan and a Laker fan, I need the letter K.

    I had a double-take moment when I got here because we have the same template! Thanks for cruising by my place. Your answers here are truly unique.

  4. my friend, i will sign it with a flourish worthy of john hanccock himself.

    may i amend it to add canned peas to the lima beans list?

    that ball peen hammer better be a large inflatable carnival prize type.

    and i have the whipped cream and supper soakers…let’s go!

  5. A flaming banana peel skirt? REALLY??? Only at your place could I find fuzzy handcuffs, lima beans and edible body paint in the same post. You are too funny.

    OH! I just saw it. Thank you for putting up the BlogBlast banner. Much obliged, sir.

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