I tripped over an internet article listing ten reasons for dropping a facebook friend that listed items such as they are your parents, they are an ex, they invite you to endless events, and so on. Now all these are smart ideas I support but I feel like the article was a bit too broad in its scope. These are the items that should be the most obvious to even the least savvy social network devotee. There are more subtle signs to look for that may not be as readily apparent. So in the interest of public safety I present ten more reasons to drop a facebook friend…in no particular order…
1. You’ve seen their profile picture on America’s Most Wanted.
2. Their favorite musicians are Marilyn Manson and Julie Andrews.
3. As favorite hobbies they list rectal spelunking and wearing chain mail camisoles.
4. Remember that “sheep” does not qualify as a relationship status.
5. If they think a hot date is sharing a double cheese whopper, a six-pack of Carling Black Label and watching re-runs of HeeHaw.
6. Distance yourself from anyone who believes Jay Leno is funny.
7. If they mention that they believe vivisection means good seats at a Cubs game.
8. They are under the impression that David Duke drove The General Lee (which is not out of the realm of possibility…but why take chances).
9. Their favorite meal involves cream cheese, pork rinds and Borax.
10. If they have children named Hannibal, Norman or Captain Spaulding.
We hope this has been helpful in your enjoyment of a safe, wholesome internet experience.