qm – like music to my eustachian tubes

Welcome to The Queen’s Meme #68.

It’s called the Basic Music Theory Meme 101

It’s simple! Answer the questions and/or identify the following very basic music symbols and tell us what you think they mean. You can answer correctly (don’t peek in the dictionary!) or you can spoof ’em. I’m talking to you, Coopernicus. Can you snark something this academic?

the gauntlet has been thrown….

1. What is the symbol above called?
expect five lines waiting to get into the bar,
or the scratch marks left on one’s back after a passionate evening with an architect….

2. Imagine you are playing saxophone and suddenly see the symbol above in your music score. What do you do?
Beat the 2nd chair violinist over the head with my sax 10 times for playing Adela’s Aria from Strauss’ Die Fledermaus al dente instead of allegro…

3. And this ornate object is???
A symbol from the composer indicating that first chair flautist has an outstanding ass…
  
  
4. Are these two rests equal or unequal in value?
will calling these two rests equal bring disruption to the orchestra?
are cary grant and rock hudson the poster boys for NGRA?? (email me and I’ll tell you)

5. Name at least 2 things missing from the Treble and Bass clef show below that would be seen in an actual piece of music.

 
A time signature and several butcher’s aprons…

6. Why is the treble clef above always getting in trouble? What is wrong with it?
It’s unusual chin caused many schoolyard scuffles as a kid, leaving it traumatized and unable to cope with emotions…

7. What is the name of this note?
an effin 32nd note
 
8. What is the key signature in the piece of music below?
An effin sharp kid under 18 years of age.  One of those brats that’s A major pain….

 

BONUS! The correct answer will keep you out of the dungeon for awhile.
9.  What is the last note on a piano keyboard?
a post it note from the landlord telling me to stop playing the piano all hours of the friggin’ night.
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10 Comments

Filed under humor, music

10 responses to “qm – like music to my eustachian tubes

  1. 1. indicates this performance of neil diamond’s “song sung blue” played by the 3rd grade orchestra will sound like nails on a chalkboard

    2. diagram place settings for 10 at an after concert dinner, make sure the triangle player is not next to the bassoonist or it could get ugly

    3. symbol telling the conductor to look down the blouse of the first violinist

    4. one’s a boy rest and one’s a girl rest, since we know a woman’s work is never done we can surmise they are inequal

    5. indication that it’s in the key of z

    6. it signed a contract with a carrier that only has a g3 network and now it doesn’t want to pony up the early termination fees to move to the competitor

    7. barry

    8. what you said. what? i’m not posting this at my place! i can’t cheat on one of them!

    9. the one beethoven left fur elise

    7.

  2. lol.. coops, as always, brilliantly snarky 🙂

  3. And you picked it up brilliantly.
    Where to begin. While all were worth waiting for …for some reason “an effin 32nd note” made me laugh the most. The timing was perfect.
    A Major pain. Ha!!

    I’d watch out for that al dente if I were you….

  4. #1 Stop wasting my time and put on an album by Blondie

    #2 Drop to the floor and do ten push ups. Chop chop, pronto! But keep it pianissimo.

    #3 I’ll have to go with lime on this one

    #8 He did not sign it

    Bill

  5. 1. Cinque vermicelli

    2. Yell, “Who Let the Dogs Out.”

    3. Medieval Emoticon: means “Arch your fingers”

    4. Are you asking the drummer or the bass player?

    5. Cigarette burns, coffee cup ring, transposition to at least two other keys (in ink), phone number of girl who requested “Misty”

    6. G4 is ancient history. We’re all using Intel-based machines. This was obviously transposed by the drummer

    7. We call it, “Jim.”

    8. It really doesn’t matter. It’s Christmas music. It’s mid-January. There is no reason for that chart to be outside of its box unless we’re going to build a fire with it.

    9. The one just before, “Oh shit! You’re not going to SING, too, ARE YOU??!!

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