Many things have been said about me. Some are true. Some are lies. Some are fair. Some are sinister. But there is one indisputable not-so-secret secret about Her Highness. She loves being a girl.
That is a fact.
I know what you’re thinking, guys. You can’t possibly do a prissy meme even on threat of dungeon duty. Not to fear. And quite frankly, unless you’re a metrosexual and want to talk about yourself, you can still answer this meme about the females in your life. So let’s powder up and get on with the makeover.
(**warning** she couldn’t stop at 7 questions this week)
1. What is your favorite lipstick color and why?
aubergine…matches my toenails
2. How long does it take you to get ready to go to work in the morning?
not too long if we’re not counting the six or seven snooze hits
3. Do you have your nails professionally done? Mani? Pedi?
Mani, Pedi, Quasi, Multi, Semi, Vagi, Maxi….the “other” Seven Dwarves
4. Tell us about your latest spa experience – real or imagined.
Imagined created a worldwide Reddi-Whip shortage so we’ll leave it at that.
5. Is there something you’d like to change about your appearance? Would you ever have cosmetic surgery?
I’d like to switch my left eye with my right ear, just for a different perspective.
6. How do you take care of your skin?
Once a month I send it to the dry cleaners.
7. Tell us your secrets for vibrant, shiny, healthy-looking hair.
(I was kidding here but after seeing some of the other answers, i.e. mayonnaise and olive oil, maybe i’m not way off base)
8. What is your favorite fragrance?
a raw egg in a ninth grade boy’s gym sneaker buried in a staten island landfill. in august.
9. Everyone has a certain color they love to wear. What is yours?
porraceous smalt (look it up)
10. Do you have ink?
not since taking a daily 100 mg of hippolith
11. How would you describe your personal style?