keep me honest here.
“Easy 3-step installation”. That is what is printed there in english and spanish, correct? (Actually the spanish could read “your mother sucks 3 new york knicks” for all I know. I’m taking the translation on faith here). They are even kind enough to inform me that this 3-step installation takes 5 minutes! That’s for me. The less work the better.
I rush home, giddy with anticipation that my glistening new doorknob will be shining in the sun in a mere five minutes of unpacking the hardware. I will be the envy of the neighborhood easy as (and literally as) 1 – 2 – 3.
I tear into the package without slashing a main artery (those thick plastic wrappers can be murder), look at my new bauble winking joyfully at me and grab a sheet of paper from within the packing thinking, “Hah. All this paper for three steps. The print must be large.”
So here, for your inspection, are the instructions for my three-step installation…
but, oh, there is more….
5 minutes? it took me 15 to read it all and that doesn’t include the mile of small print at the end.
3 steps? Last time I checked three came after two and preceded four. That last step has a one and a zero, which for my money always symbolized “ten”.