so SHE sez: It’s time for your annual check up! I always say “knowledge is power” when entering the stressful confines of a doctor’s office. I take a pen and paper, armed with questions and a medical encyclopedia at my disposal. My doctor is not amused. Let’s see how well you do on the medical exam I have prepared for you.
1. The smallest bone in the human body is about the size of a grain of rice. What is it?
Sorry…can’t hear you with this clump of Uncle Ben’s jammed in my ear….
2. How fast is a sneeze?
Faster than a dope or a grump
3. What percentage of the human body is water?
none. it’s all mucilage.
4. True or False: A human’s thumb is as long as his or her nose.
…his or her nose…what? Hair? Polyps?
5. What should you do if you are bitten by a snake?
exchange insurance information
6. It is a fact that humans get an entirely new skeleton every 12 years. What do we get every six years?
laid. no that can’t be right. ear wax excavation? a navel lint suction treatment?
7. Happiness is directly related to the size of your lateral cuneiform. (well, you asked)
8. If there are 9,000 taste buds on your tongue, how many hairs are on your head right now?
CT = [H4Y]+[H3Y–]+[H2Y2-]+[HY3-]+[Y4-]
9. I believe that the size of the needle is directly related to the mood of the nurse. However, sometimes it’s necessary to get shots. If you could be vaccinated against anything in the world, what would it be?
lima beans, truck exhaust and Sarah Palin