avoid these…

One of the recent freshly pressed blogs (wordpress people know what I mean…you blogspot folks will have to catch up) featured the 20 most re-watchable films of all time.  The author and I would not co-exist amicably.  So, rather than get into a pissing contest on the same subject I am going to give it a twist and list the…

 20 Films I’ve Walked Out On or Should Have Walked Out On and Wouldn’t Miss If All Copies Disappeared From The Planet

OK, the title is a bit wordy.

1. UHF – Weird Al’s foray into films.  Thoroughly unfunny and infantile.
UHF Poster
2. Young Einstein – a really bad PBS kid’s special…at least that’s what it felt like.
Young Einstein Poster
3. Warning Sign – trapped biohazard mutants.  Andromeda Strain did it better.  Much better.
Warning Sign Poster

4. Papillon – I know. Dustin Hoffman, Steve McQueen.  Escape adventure. Needlessly bloody and overdrawn.  No thanx.
Papillon Poster
5. Ishtar – Again Dustin Hoffman this time with Warren Beatty.  excruciatingly bad and pointless.
Ishtar Poster
6. The Jazz Singer (Neil Diamond Remake) – That Neil Daimond…what an actor.  Not.
The Jazz Singer Poster
7. Howard the Duck – Don’t know what George Lucas was thinking.  Or for that matter Tim Robbins. Or anyone else…
Howard the Duck Poster
8. Xanadu – Disco roller skating does not a good film make.
Xanadu Poster
9. Mark of The Devil – Gore before gore was fashionable.  Great for human torture freaks.
Mark of the Devil Poster
10. Christmas With The Kranks – the best example of a bad Grisham book translated into a bad movie.
Christmas with the Kranks Poster
11. The Sound of Music – tedious bilge that’s impossible to endure
The Sound of Music Poster
11. Pirates of the Carribean IV: On Stranger Tides – zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Poster
13. RV – not even a passable TV movie.  The only good thing for Robin Williams is that RV makes Popeye look good.
RV Poster
14. Blind Date – Bruce Willis, Kim Basinger, Blake Edwards – mix and pour down garbage disposal.
Blind Date Poster
15. Norbit – Murphy ego run rampant.
Norbit Poster
16. Funny Farm –  Chevy Chase at his sucktastic worst.  Except the snack food commercials.  And his talk show.  And Fletch 2.  And…
Funny Farm Poster
17. Mannequin – yeah.  this is believable.
Mannequin Poster
18. All Pink Panther movies made after 1975 – I think there are about a dozen of them.  Sellers or Martin…just bad.
Trail of the Pink Panther PosterThe Pink Panther Poster
19. Avatar – being impressed with the effects wears off after five minutes.  the rest is way too long.  and the team with the most guns wins.  blah.
Avatar Poster
20. Superman IV: Quest For Peace – looked like all the outtakes from superman 1 thru 3 pasted (badly) together.  total crap.
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace Poster



Filed under humor, movies

13 responses to “avoid these…

  1. I let you go until number 20. Seriously!? Sunman vs Superman? I may be biases since it was one of my favorite movies when I was a kid but cmon. Superman 3 is much worse. It’s like a big joke. Richard Pryer? Seriously?

  2. OMG, Ishtar is the suckiest movie ever conceived! I remember when we rented it at another couples house and we all fell asleep then woke up around 3:30 in the morning and we had to drive home… UGH!
    I can’t complain about any of the Pirates movies because I am in LOVE with Johnny Depp. He could stand in front of a camera for an hour and I’d watch it. =)

  3. snowelf

    I agree–AND I though Avatar was a major suckfest too!! I can’t stand it when movies preach to me. Barf!

    Thanks for the comments–I’ll def run for you. 😉

  4. I’ve always meant to watch Ishtar due to all the hatred out there for it. Makes one curious…but apparently not that curious as I haven’t gotten around to it.

  5. I agree with Lorie’s statement about Pirates..lol.. and yours too 😉

    I would switch only one off this list. Avatar for Magnolia. Why? Because after watching Magnolia I felt like I had been raped of my time and mind. That movie is the reason I refuse to stick it out through any other movie now. If it sucks, it gets turned off. Don’t like it? Watch Magnolia ALL THE WAY THROUGH and tell me I don’t have just cause. GAH!

  6. i’ve only seen two of these, ishtar (how awful, i completely agree) and funny farm which i actually kinda like, not so much due to chevy but some of the supporting characters.

    allow me to add eleln degeneres’ “mr. wrong” uh, the whole movie was wrong. just gawd awful.

  7. wait, i lie. i’ve seen others. i like sound of music. please don’t hate me.

    may i add mama mia to the list though. ridiculous premise poorly executed not to mention…pierce brosnan attempting to sing.

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