dear comcast customer…

Here’s your customer service…..bend over

You know those comcast commercials where all their customer service reps tell you how efficient and customer focused their service is and how they won’t rest unless each customer is 100% satisfied…


So, we have high-speed internet and cable TV from comcast and there are about 5 cable stations where reception has started getting unwatchable, as if I had a dish and there was a persistent hailstorm with 70 mph winds.  All I see is a digital jigsaw puzzle and hear about every tenth word.  These 5 stations just happen to be ones we watch when the TV is on…Food Network, Weather Channel, TV Land…why couldn’t this happen to a useless station…like MTV.  So yesterday I call 1-800-comcast.  After ten minutes of telling me my account balance, they ask for phone number, ssn and sperm count and after pressing a dozen more phone prompts I’m told there was a 21 minute wait.  NFW.  I call again today and after the same rigmarole I’m told there is a 26 minute wait but I should try to talk to a service rep.

Fine…I get on the computer and start a comcast tech chat session.  The tech’s name is Cherry Lou.  Are you kidding me?  I spend an hour going through explaining the problem and going with their standard-microsoft the cable box.  No change.  OK, so Cherry gets serious and wants to bring up my account (like that is going to solve this problem?) and I provide the same information I used on the phone to sign me in thru the IVR.

Only now it doesn’t work.  Cherry cannot validate my account on his/her (I really don’t know) system.  This is using the same information that I was able to validate on the phone with the same fucking company!!!!!!

Fine.  I give Verizon a call since comcast really doesn’t appear to want my service all that badly.

Now those of you who are regular readers of this mess may recall a post about two years ago detailing my legendary battle with Verizon over their high-speed internet service.  You can see this coming can’t you?  I get a Verizon Tech on the chat named Anne…ok this is a good sign.  Anne I can deal with instead of a bizarre kool-aid flavor.  We go through some preliminary steps and sure enough I can get FIOS……but I can’t get internet service.  The same internet service I had a year and a half ago.  Apparently Verizon is at capacity in my area now but i could get on a waiting list if I wanted.

As Lewis Black would say….ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME ???



Filed under customer service, life, marketing, media, stupidity, technology, TV

5 responses to “dear comcast customer…

  1. God I hate Comcast customer service and my husband actually told Verizon: “fuck you!” Don’t think we could ever use them again. TeeHee
    Sorry for your troubles, buddy. Hope you get your channels back, I would be livid because I spend a lot of time in front of the TV due to my disability.
    Good thoughts your way!

  2. I am sorry for the poor experience! I work for Comcast and I ‘d like to help. Please feel free to contact me if you’re interested in my help.

    I would also like to look into the long wait. If you can contact me and provide your info, I’d be most appreciative.

    Mark Casem
    Comcast Corp.
    National Customer Operations

  3. Ah, you have power. From the media reports, one would think the entire eastern seaboard is out.

    I was a Comcast cable subscriber many years ago. Was. I returned home after the Thanksgiving holiday one year to find the cable dead. Called their customer service line and they said they would send someone out to check it.

    The next day, I looked behind the house and it was obvious they recently had hooked up the neighbor across the alley; there was a coax running on top of the pavement from the cable junction box into their yard. I thought, “Oh, so they accidently unhooked me when adding the new customer.” It would simply be a matter of reconnecting me.

    After a week, nothing. Called them again and explained what I have observed and they said they would send someone out to look at it in the next couple of days.

    Again, nothing. Called them back and they said the guy came out, but I was not at home. I replied that they should be able to do whatever it took to get the signal to the place where the cable entered my building. They insisted I had to be here. Then I asked about getting credited for the outage. They said they would give me a couple of days, but not the week and a half I thought I was due. Since I was going to be out of town quite a bit in the next couple of months anyway, I just said to unsubscribe me and I would considering signing back up when I returned. I never did.

    Receiving OTA TV is quite a pain sometimes, but I never had the desire to do business with Comcast again. The local market had been sold to Time-Warner since, but I still do without.


  4. yeesh. sorry to hear it. sounds like a horrendous pain in the ass. i can think of far better ways to spend the day, let me tell ya…

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