when u wish upon a star…

As several military folk have successfully wrangled celebrity dates recently, I thought I’d get my requests in before the floodgates burst forth with all manner of delusional invitations:

Being a carpenter prior to movie fame I’d like Harrison Ford to come remodel my kitchen and a couple of bathrooms.

The neighborhood is holding their annual charity carnival and we need a volunteer for the dunk tank.  I’d like to invite Oprah.

This year’s Tri-County Psychiatric Home Christmas Bash and Electroshock Festival is soon approaching.  As my escort I’d love to bring Lady Gaga.  or Rhianna…whoever is off their medication.

I invite Meredith Salenger to just come over and hang out for a while.  We’ll see where it goes  from there.

My oven needs cleaning.  My GAS oven needs cleaning. I think Ann Coulter would do a great job.  That’s right Ann, crawl way back there…

And for Christmas Dinner this year I would like to see the following around my table: Kathy Griffin, Michelle Bachmann, Lewis Black, Jon Stewart, Guy Fieri, Christina Hendricks,  Bill O’Rielly, Angelina Jolie, Gallagher.  Should be lively.




Filed under celebrities, holiday, humor

6 responses to “when u wish upon a star…

  1. Kathy Griffin is my celebrity doppleganger. I love that bitch.

  2. This is so funny – I would definitely take Harrison Ford here to remodel anything he wants. =)
    I love your Chiristmas dinner guest – will Gallagher be bringing watermelon?
    Happy Thanksgiving!!

  3. i want to come to your christmas dinner! i’m going to ask hugh jackman as my date.

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