waiting for st. nick

(with apologies to Mr. Beckett)

ESTRAGON:Charming spot. (He turns, advances to front, halts facing Starbucks.) Inspiring prospects. (He turns to Vladimir.) Let’s go.

VLADIMIR:We can’t.

ESTRAGON:Why not?

VLADIMIR:We’re waiting for St Nick.

ESTRAGON:(despairingly). Ah! (Pause.) You’re sure it was here?

VLADIMIR:What?

ESTRAGON:That we were to wait.

VLADIMIR:He said by the tree in the mall. (They look at the tree.) Do you see any others?

ESTRAGON:What is it?

VLADIMIR:I don’t know. A willow.

ESTRAGON:Where are the leaves?

VLADIMIR:

  It must be dead.

ESTRAGON:No more weeping.

VLADIMIR:Or perhaps it’s not the season.

ESTRAGON:Looks to me more like a bush.

VLADIMIR:A shrub.

ESTRAGON:A bush. A Charlie Brown bush.

VLADIMIR:A—. What are you insinuating? That we’ve come to the wrong place?

ESTRAGON:He should be here.

VLADIMIR:He didn’t say for sure he’d come.

ESTRAGON:And if he doesn’t come?

VLADIMIR:We’ll come back tomorrow.

ESTRAGON:And then the day after tomorrow.

VLADIMIR:Possibly.  All the white sales, you know?

ESTRAGON:And so on.

VLADIMIR:The point is—

ESTRAGON:Until he comes.

VLADIMIR:You’re merciless.

ESTRAGON:We came here yesterday.

VLADIMIR:Ah no, there you’re mistaken.

ESTRAGON:What did we do yesterday?

VLADIMIR:What did we do yesterday?

ESTRAGON:Yes.

VLADIMIR:Why . . . (Angrily.) Nothing is certain when you’re about.

ESTRAGON:In my opinion we were here.

VLADIMIR:(looking round).You recognize the place?

ESTRAGON:I didn’t say that.

VLADIMIR:Well?

ESTRAGON:That makes no difference.

VLADIMIR:All the same . . . that tree . . . (turning towards Victoria’s Secret) that bog . . .

ESTRAGON:You’re sure it was this evening?

VLADIMIR:What?

ESTRAGON:That we were to wait.

VLADIMIR:He said Saturday. (Pause.) I think.

ESTRAGON:You think.

VLADIMIR:I must have made a note of it. (He fumbles in his pockets, bursting with christmas lists and credit card receipts.)

ESTRAGON:(very insidious). But what Saturday? And is it Saturday? Is it not rather Sunday? (Pause.) Or Monday? (Pause.) Or Friday?

VLADIMIR:(looking wildly about him, as though the date was inscribed in the food court).It’s not possible!

ESTRAGON:Or Thursday?

VLADIMIR:What’ll we do?

ESTRAGON:If he came yesterday and we weren’t here you may be sure he won’t come again today.

VLADIMIR:But you say we were here yesterday.

ESTRAGON:I may be mistaken. (Pause.) Let’s stop talking for a minute, do you mind?

VLADIMIR:(feebly). All right.

Advertisements

2 Comments

Filed under holiday

2 responses to “waiting for st. nick

  1. Quite “Godot-esque.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s