It has become common knowledge that the US Army used dolphins during the Iraq war to scout out mines floating in the water and now, our bottle nosed pals are being recruited once again to keep the Strait of Hormuz clear so we can continue to rape Iran of its natural resources to bolster our grotesque oil consumption.
It got me thinking, what other members of the animal, mammal or reptilian kingdom can we recruit to perform a few unsavory tasks (besides the bomb sniffing dogs and the test monkeys, cats and rats)
Houses of Congress – populate all the chambers with jackals and hyenas. It’s not much of a change but there might be some blood-letting to make C-SPAN more interesting.
Porn – Giraffes. Have you seen the tongues on these long-necked bastards?
Lawyers – Baby Harp Seals – why not? Both are protected from harm to the nth degree.
TV Talk Show Hosts – snakes – self-explanatory.