life’s little mysteries

when did taking a healthy crap become big business?  I see one more commercial telling me yogurt, pills, drinks or cereal will “keep my digestive track balanced” and I’m going to start

"can I talk to you about your colon?" "NO!!! Now piss off."

squatting in those respective aisles in the supermarket.  jamie lee curtis started all this nonsense with her damn yogurt commercials.  Remember when eating yogurt would increase your lifespan into the hundreds? I guess new research has shown that not to be the case but it does allow women to keep their colons flowing as they should.  If I remember correctly it was an early SNL sketch with Phil Hartman that touted the advantages of eating a cereal named Colon-Blow.  Or was that Python?  No, Python was Ano-Weet in the Most Disgusting Family competition.

and while we’re on the subject of ridiculous, this is what Yahoo listed this evening as their top headlines under “World News”, not US…but World…

  • Mysterious ‘Winged’ Structure from Ancient Rome Discovered
  • Kate Middleton’s Mustique Vacation Is Royal Pain for Other Guests
  • Pa. woman hosted ‘kegger’ before 3 teens crashed
  • Seal, Heidi Klum announce separation
  • Strongest solar storm since 2005 hitting Earth
  • ‘The Office’ actor Rainn Wilson finally admits he looks like Newt Gingrich

These are the stories that delve into the most important issues facing the world today.


the late phil hartman



Filed under america, business, media, stupidity, TV

15 responses to “life’s little mysteries

  1. i dunno which is worse, feminine hygeine product ads, ED ads, or healthy poop ads. as for yahoo news….uh, dude…it’s yahoo. they don’t do news.

    • i want to see an ED ad shot in a trailer park with a 400 pound guy in a food stained t-shirt and a 300 pound woman with three teeth. true love blossoms.

      • *shudders* i blame you for the nightmares i’ll be having tonight.

        on the other hand that is the only reason i can imagine where two separate tubs would be necessary.

  2. Super Colon Blow (Phil Hartman) still makes me laugh out loud!

    To answer your question as to “when did it become big business?” When we all aged, stopped moving (think freeze tag and Oley Oley Oxen Free), ate more processed crap and compounded it with stress.

    Jamie Curtis used to be an image of hotness in her tight little workout gear. I don’t want to hear about her digestive health, thank youverymuch. But – I have to admit I’d rather watch those ads than the E.D. ones .. ugh!

    Cheers! MJ

    • JLC was hotness in Trading Places and Love Letters. Now she’s just an aging sell-out. As for not moving, you’re right. Growing up we were outside most of the day – 4 square, SPUD, capture the flag. then adulthood stepping in…

  3. MJ is mostly correct — but it’s also a well-known fact that women of my family (at least & I’ve heard this about many other families’ women) have “always” had trouble. Women have a LOT of stuff going on in that general abdominal area AND we have crazy-arsed hormones that affect EVERYTHING.

    Prior to recent times, people weren’t eating processed, freak-foods. There have always been women, though.

  4. You are so right, I was just complaining about those stupid yogurt ads to hubster yesterday. They guarentee it will work if you eat it THREE times a day for 2 weeks. Who the hell wants to eat that much yogurt??? Not me, that’s for sure.
    I take my little actobacillis acidophilus pill that I get at my pharmacy once a day – I’m just fine, thank you very much…. well, when it comes to regularity.
    We all know that I’m totally nuts with every other aspect of my life. =)
    Better living through pharmacology, I say!
    Thanks for stopping by and for your nice comment.

  5. Came over here from Lime, and it’s about damn time she sent me! Good stuff.

  6. I hardly ever watch commercials at all but I did happen to catch one of those yogurt ads and caught the same detail as Lorie… eat it three times a day?!?!
    WTF? who eats yogurt three times a day?!

    I miss Phil Hartman.

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