Going through the downstairs bookcase while waiting for the brownies to finish baking, I came across a folder that contained two photos; one of my Dad – his high school photo I believe – and my college photo.  My hideously over oil colored photo – my eyes ain’t that green and my eyebrows are red – not that death-grey color. Not to mention needing spf 10,000 to guard against the glare of those teeth.

I don’t know…it was a bittersweet moment I guess. I had forgotten about putting these 8x10s together.  Maybe it is the resemblance.  Maybe I’ve come to a space of real forgiveness after all the anger.  My thought was that he had a tough life.  Actually he had a good life, but the emotional side wasn’t easy for him.  Maybe it’s just the whole father-son thing at a time when my own kid is having a rough time of it.  Just kind of hit me, you know?

PS: Now that I’ve looked at this, the photos in the previous post make me look 80 years old.  Was that kid really me???????




Filed under family

8 responses to “comparisons

  1. I think sometimes we need reminders like this to remember they were human, too. They were once young men, struggling to make a living, raise kids decently, pay the bills, all that stuff we do now.

    You really do look alike!

  2. strange the journeys we have to take to come to that place of forgiveness. i’m glad you made it there and sincerely hope things can smooth out for your own son and the two of you can have something between you that perhaps you lacked with your own dad.

  3. Your teeth were incredibly STRAIGHT and beautiful, if not that white…

    My dad was the spoilt rotten baby of a huge family (everybody said so, even he admits it). He had zero reason to be violent–being a jerk is one thing, being cold or not present, others. II spent an entire childhood trying to find what I “did” or what I could do or not do to avoid it–to understand why they did what they did. Finally, I realized there’s no excuse. People do what they do because it’s THEM. I’m an ahole cos I’m an ahole, too.

  4. Oh man, parents and kids, it’s a never-ending deal… well, til you die. Then the other people get to keep dealing with it without you.

    My deal with my mom was weird because she was really quite astoundingly selfish in her family life, very angry, and screamy and sometimes just hateful. However, in her 50s she got to this amazing point where she was a person I could admire, enjoy, and forgiveness was… easy and simple, and natural. Then she developed seizures and had some regression. After she developed brain tumors it just got worse. It was obvious that she was not to be blamed which in some ways made it harder. Her she was hitting all the same notes but somehow I had to find a way to handle it differently. It was so freaking complicated and exhausting.
    Wow, how was that for overshare

    • LOL. My Dad’s cancer battle was a series of business decisions. He never understood why everyone was so emotional about it. The world was black and white…yet his sensitive (overly so) son saw nothing but colors. Kind of an apt description given the photos here…

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