Category Archives: blogging

wrap it up

According to my year-end stats my posts for 2013 averaged less than one a week.  Pretty poor showing – but after ten years of blogging – what the hell is there left to say?  I’m certain people can tolerate just so much of my political and social ranting (except, maybe, against Fox Television – as they do provide a never-ending source of stupidity – actually that goes for all television…ooops…here I go again).

In any case, let’s look at some key achievements for the year – break out the drinks and settle back as we revel in all the past glories.

Here we go…

ummmm…

don’t  rush me…

Well…that was fun wasn’t it?

Now for what’s in store for the new year.  Do I drag out  and blow the dust off the same resolutions I’ve been spouting for 25 years?

You betcha.

The weight thing.  Let’s face it.  It’s not happening under threat of torture, so let’s not set false expectations – drop that one for good right now.

Hmmm.  Finished the book so that can be scratched off the list.

Winning the lottery.  Yeah, not counting on that either.

OK.  So I’m facing 2014 with no specific resolutions whatsoever.  Just kind of rolling on – staying the course to trot out a trite Reaganism.

I do have a question, tho.  Did we miss a month in 2013?  Sure felt that way.

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nov 4 – peace blogging

Think-Differentblog4peacebanner8mimilenoxblogblast4peacePeace GlobeCooper

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questions questions

I’m surprised people ask me to do this, given my previous responses and their slightly sarcastic tone.  But okay…Elyse insisted…

The Rules:

1. Post these rules.
2. Post a photo of yourself and eleven random facts about you.
3. Answer the questions given to you in the tagger’s post.
4. Create eleven new questions and tag new people to answer them.
5. Go to their blog/twitter and let them know they have been tagged.

Elyse posted this as a self-portrait.  It kind of looks like me freshman year in college right before I got my haircut…I’m going with it.

Yes, I'm a hairy beast.  Mine is more blondish red, but same idea

(Google image)

Eleven facts you may not know about me (and probably wish you didn’t).

  1. I have a tattoo of Leona Helmsley on my large intestine.
  2. My toenail color changes between blue and salmon, depending on the brand of peanut butter i eat.
  3. People  have told me I look a little like Brad Pitt right after the car hit him in Joe Black.
  4. Contrary to public opinion I was not raised by gypsy moths.
  5. I not only have a “special room in hell” waiting for me, I have an entire suite.
  6. I refuse to eat anything that does not come out of a mason jar.
  7. I am Paul Lynde and Wally Cox’s love child.
  8. I have never watched an entire episode of Seinfeld (That one is actually true – not the others aren’t you understand)
  9. I can speak 5 different languages.  Unfortunately no one else speaks them  so I’m always misunderstood.
  10. I left my pancreas in San Francisco.
  11. One testicle is larger than the other.  I rent out the extra space for business conferences and Shiner’s meetings.

Now, here are my answers to Elyse’s questions:

Were you closer to Mom or Dad (if you were spawned by aliens, please explain)
I was closer to the cat.  Mom and Dad lived in the next town.

There are moments in history that everyone alive at that time remember (for me it was the Kennedy assassination).  What was your first?
The day Eleanor Roosevelt bit into a bad fig and told her husband that he was a complete doof.

Favorite pet ever
Angelique Lawson, December 1971 issue

Funniest quote
“Hire a decorator to come in here quick cuz, Damn.”

Best insult you ever delivered and why the recipient deserved it.
I delivered one to the CVS in town.  They ordered a gross.

First memory
“Bottle fed?  That’s bullshit.”

What do you dislike most about blogging?
It never cooks up the same way twice.

Do your friends/family members read your blog?
Only under duress.

How would you be using your time right now if you weren’t answering my stupid questions
Melting down ear wax to use as varnish for the front porch

Your dream job.
I don’t think we need to get into that here thank you.

What you expect to be reincarnated as in your next life?
This is my next life.  I used to be central tunnel support on the Victoria Line

Now I am supposed to come up with questions.  I think I’m still waiting for answers from most of you on the last batch…

1. Name five non-clothing items you might wear next to your skin while attending a Bar Mitzvah.
2. Who is your favorite proctologist…and why?
3. They are going to name a breakfast cereal after your feet.  What will it be called?
4. Given the choice between spontaneous combustion and a weekend with Michelle Bachman, which would you choose?
5. What is your favorite tile grout?
6. It’s a new law…you have to get a tattoo of a celeb’s face.  Who is it and where are they going?
7. What is your favorite moldy fruit?
8. What language do you find most unpleasant?
9. When was the last time you cried gagged?
10. What is your favorite dental instrument?
11. Have you ever…you know…you know…with a head of cauliflower?  or spinach?

I won’t tag anyone but if you want to have at it, please feel free.

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what i lack in personality i make up for in bourbon

I have nothing to say.  Specifically.  It’s been crazy busy work wise for the past two weeks (including weekends) and today marked the culmination of some of my efforts so I can breathe a little tonight.

I know I keep writing about this “book” I’ve written….just hang in there – big news coming very very very very soon.  I can say this – I have learned to appreciate the amount of effort that goes into a book besides actually writing it.  Posting an eBook version is one thing, actually designing the cover and interior is a whole different kettle of wax. (or ball of fish – whichever you prefer).  I have a new respect for book designers.

sunny-day-1And now for something completely different – – things that are unnecessary.  Do we REALLY need to name every single weather event from now on?  It’s a snow storm.  It’s not a hurricane or a typhoon.  Why, all of a sudden do we have to name them?  I think it is totally unfair to name only what people consider “dangerous” weather systems.  Why can’t we name sunny days.  “Sunshine Judy is heading our way on Friday followed by 24 hours of Balmy Dave.  Next week will be a beautiful Milton so head for the beach and take plenty of sunscreen.”   Seriously, what the hell?

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Filed under blogging, Books, stupidity, TV, weather, writing

1000th post

droopy

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January 25, 2013 · 9:53 pm

a couple things to wrap up before the new year hits…

chasing those annoying dust bunnies out of my brain, as it were…

to the type-a women (and this one is mostly women) who have nothing better to do than bitch at the person in front of them in the grocery store express line because that person has 12 items instead of 10 – may your daughter seek the compassion she never got from you in the arms of a born-again christian cultist who refuses to work but has plenty of time to spawn a dozen children through your brood-mare child.

for the love of god when will people stop buying into the bullshit spewing forth form the following sources: the U.S. Government, Oprah, Bill O’Reilly, Donald Trump, ExxonMobil, TV News  (actually TV in general and news in general), the Kardashians, the Left wing,  the Right wing, Dave (he’s the guy always sitting in the corner at the local Dunkin’ Donuts).

New-Jersey-Prudential-CenterWe went to see Jeff Dunham at the Pru Center over the weekend.  The Pru Center is where the NJ Devils (NHL Hockey) play…when they’re playing, and the Seton Hall Pirates.  Needless to say it’s a large arena and we spent the concert watching the gigundous video screen over the stage ’cause Jeff & Co.  looked smaller than Munchkins from where we sat…so it was like spending a lot of extra money to watch another one of his videos.  But still, it was fun and funny.

After watching It’s A Wonderful Life for the 127th through 135th times this season, I noticed some additional trivial facts about the film.

  • Clarence states Harry broke through the ice at the age of nine…but Harry’s tombstone reads 1911 – 1919.  He would have only been eight.
  • When Burt the cop starts shooting at George, he misses him, but he does hit something.  The sign at the end of town that reads “Pottersville”.  The letters “sv” go dark during the shooting.
  • There was a minimum of nine years between the time Harry came home from college and the time he went to war.  That would have made him 31 years old and George 35.  (Harry was born in 1911.  Assuming he graduated high school at the age of 18, that was 1929.  Four years later he graduated college in 1933 at the age of 22.  Assuming he went to war in 1942 – recognizing 12/7/41 as the US entry into WWII – that’s nine years later – 22+9=31.  George was four years older – 35).  The fateful Xmas eve of the lost $8K and Harry’s return was after VJ Day – August 1945 – so say December 24 1945 – Harry would have been 34 and George 38.

And some people feel I think too much.

Jim CooperThere was a bake-off at work recently.  I won.  This shot is now hanging in the office.  You can stop laughing now.  Yeah that’s my cube…ahhh home, sweet, home.

Hope everyone has a healthy and satisfying 2013!

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Filed under blogging, holiday, humor, life, rant, TV

2012 in review – – if you must…

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 17,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 4 Film Festivals

Click here to see the complete report.

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