Category Archives: stupidity

what i lack in personality i make up for in bourbon

I have nothing to say.  Specifically.  It’s been crazy busy work wise for the past two weeks (including weekends) and today marked the culmination of some of my efforts so I can breathe a little tonight.

I know I keep writing about this “book” I’ve written….just hang in there – big news coming very very very very soon.  I can say this – I have learned to appreciate the amount of effort that goes into a book besides actually writing it.  Posting an eBook version is one thing, actually designing the cover and interior is a whole different kettle of wax. (or ball of fish – whichever you prefer).  I have a new respect for book designers.

sunny-day-1And now for something completely different – – things that are unnecessary.  Do we REALLY need to name every single weather event from now on?  It’s a snow storm.  It’s not a hurricane or a typhoon.  Why, all of a sudden do we have to name them?  I think it is totally unfair to name only what people consider “dangerous” weather systems.  Why can’t we name sunny days.  “Sunshine Judy is heading our way on Friday followed by 24 hours of Balmy Dave.  Next week will be a beautiful Milton so head for the beach and take plenty of sunscreen.”   Seriously, what the hell?

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Filed under blogging, Books, stupidity, TV, weather, writing

more parenting horrors

Since I’ve brought up the subject of clueless parenting, let me add some personal experience that re-enforces my belief in a National Parent Fitness Exam, of which the media can create some cutesy acronym like NAPARFEX  or The Dumbass Test.

Last night was the final home game for the Trenton Thunder, the local Yankee AA farm team.  The Mrs. and I bought a six-pack of tickets and this was game six of our package.  The seats were excellent, three rows back from the field in the first base line. I’m not boasting — it’s important to the story.  Well, maybe I am boasting a little.  Anyway…

Last night must have also been Bring Your Child Under Three Years Old Night.  The place was crawling with toddlers.  As we made our way to our seats we noticed a little tow-headed blond guy sitting in one of our seats.  This is not a big deal as the games are rarely sold out and there are always seats around one’s ticketed seats, so we sat in some empty chairs behind the kid and his Mom.

Well, the little kid turned out to be possessed and Mom was one of these in the ozone yuppie Moms who thinks having a rational, calm conversation with a ranting, screaming three-year-old about his feelings is the proper way to go.  Let me give you the highlights.

– The kid had a baseball – a hardball – and kept tossing it in the air and letting it hit the concrete floor.  Amazingly it didn’t land on anybody’s head.  After about half a dozen tosses, Mommy Dearest decides to pick up the ball and hold it.  Little Damian has a fit.  I mean a FIT where he’s landing punches on his mother.  Mom….does not react.  At all.  After about 10 minutes she takes little Farquhar for a walk.  She comes back holding him while he’s munching on a bag of chips.

– The kid discovers the stadium chairs are spring-loaded so the seat part folds up when you stand up.  Now I understand the attraction of a three-year-old to spring action things.  Junior, however, believes he his part of the chair manufacturer testing team and proceeds to stand on the seat, facing backward, and jump up and down slamming the seat into sitting position.  Repeatedly.  Mom…does not react until ten or twelve jumps have occurred at which time she pulls him into her lap and snuggles with him.  This act is repeated about half a dozen times throughout the game.

– The kid, late in the game, is left to wander up and down the rows of people who have left rather than commit homicide.  Keep in mind that we are sitting three rows from the field.  Junior discovers a discarded 48 ounce, hard plastic soda cup left behind, complete with lid and straw.  He pours out what little liquid is left in the cup, then proceeds to hurl the thing as hard as he can…towards the field.  Kid has a good arm.  It lands right next to a Trenton Thunder player in the on-deck circle waiting to hit.  Mom…was cleaning her glasses and missed the whole thing.  The person next to her – may have been her father or husband, just couldn’t tell – kind of sort of saw the glass fly out onto the field and thought maybe Beelzebub was responsible and nudged Mom.  Mom…looked sort of perplexed and made him sit down without a word.

At this point I went to the men’s room – trust me.  This was a good move on my part, for the safety of the other patrons.  I exited the bathroom and saw dad/hubby and clueless mom  dragging a screaming blond dirt bag out of the stadium.  Upon return, the Mrs. informed me that the kid was unsuccessfully performing gymnastic routines on the chairs and kept hitting his head on the concrete.
Me:  Any blood?
Mrs: no
Me: too bad.

The kicker?  Mom looked to be about 7 months pregnant.  So there will be one more psychopathic bully roaming the globe in the near future.

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Filed under common sense, dumbass, stupidity

these two will not be going to Jesusland…

I know this is old news but there is an aspect of it that makes me bang my head against the wall.  Well, actually there are many aspects of this story that make me want to do that but…

Adolfo Gomez, 52, and Deborah Gomez, 43, were arrested on June 13, 2012, in Lawrence, Kan., after an alert Wal-Mart shopper reported seeing their two youngest children, 7 and 5, bound with duct tape in the back of the couple’s SUV. Police found the boy, 5, on the ground outside the vehicle, on a pice of cardboard, blindfolded, his hands tied behind his back, and his legs bound together. The girl, 7, was found inside the vehicle after Gomez was arrested. She had also been blindfolded and bound. Deborah Gomez was inside the Walmart buying a bat, two rolls of duct tape and two tarps. Adolfo Gomez, who was in the vehicle “loudly either reciting religious sayings or possibly praying,” had to be tasered three times before he complied. The couple was charged with suspicion of child abuse and child endangerment. – trutv.com

Suspicion of child abuse?  Ya think?  Here’s the clincher for me, however…

 Adolofo Gomez’ attorney,  Skip Griffy, told the court that binding the children had to do with the family’s religious beliefs surrounding protection against demons, and that the children, also believers, had been willing participants. 

So if I take a chainsaw and remove old Skip’s head as a means of protection against stupidity demons, is that allowed too???  And the children are willing participants???  Of course they are when the people they look to for love and protection are complete wackaloons who should be duct taped from head to toe and suspended by a frayed bungee cord from the Golden Gate bridge…

Lawyers.  Go figure.

and of course…this occured in a Wal-Mart parking lot….

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Filed under america, crime, legal, life, news, religion, stupidity

imagine that…

Whaddya know? Romney’s lies debunked by that librul rag, The Wall Street Journal.

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Filed under dumbass, government, Obama, politics, stupidity, useless politicians

bullshit on a stick in DC

As of July 1, 2012, Federal student loan rates, now set at 3.4%, are set to double.  I assume that means 6.8% but I have yet to see a number reported and given the math skills exhibited in Washington for the past thirty years, the new rate could be anything from 3.45% to 6000%.

This creates an additional burden on those receiving the loans.  Granted.

The members of Congress are busy throwing dog turds at each other, not because they are fighting over the rate – both Democrats and Republicans want to keep the rate at 3.4% – but they are fighting on how to fund the additional 6 billion-with-a-B it will cost to fund keeping the rates low.

Think about that for a second.

It’s going to COST six billion dollars to loan money out….at whatever rate…and have it repaid with interest..so that the lender makes money.  Unless economics has taken a severe dogleg to the left into the primeval forest, that’s the way loans are supposed to work aren’t they?  It’s not supposed to cost anybody anything expect the person paying BACK the loan.

So how, in God’s name, will lending money COST money??? BECAUSE THEY DON’T HAVE THE FUCKING MONEY TO BEGIN WITH!  They are lending money they don’t have.  Period.  How so unlike our government. I am amazed.

The Republicans want to cover the 6 bil by cutting preventative health care funds.  The Democrats want to screw small business by cutting their tax benefits to cover the tab.  Stupidity reigns on both sides of the aisle.

But hold on, cooper, I hear you say.  How are kids going to cope in the global geopolitical economy if they don’t go to $50K a year universities…familes can’t afford that.  The kids can’t afford to come out of four years of school with 200K in debt over their heads.  And I would agree with you.  I guess the kids are going to have to go to a 10-15K a year state college.  There is no constitutional amendment entitling every child to go to Princeton, Bucknell or Penn State. We might as well just turn these schools over to the only people who can afford to go which are scholarship winning athletes and let pro sports pick up the tab for their (cough) education.  They seem to have endless supplies of money to spend on scummy creeps like Cole Hamels, Michael Vick, and Pacman Jones.

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Filed under common sense, economy, education, government, politics, rant, stupidity, useless politicians

get ready to disrobe

You have heard, I assume, about the supreme court ruling allowing strip searches for any reason no matter how minor.  Totalitarian implications aside, here is the quote from Justice Kennedy that boggles my mind (quoted from The New York Times):

Justice Kennedy responded that “people detained for minor offenses can turn out to be the most devious and dangerous criminals.” He noted that Timothy McVeigh, later put to death for his role in the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing, was first arrested for driving without a license plate. “One of the terrorists involved in the Sept. 11 attacks was stopped and ticketed for speeding just two days before hijacking Flight 93,” Justice Kennedy added.

So is the learned Justice suggesting that if McVeigh had been strip searched the Oklahoma Bombings would have been avoided? Or that 9/11 would have been stopped if the speeding terrorist had submitted to a roadside colonoscopy?

So, strip searching is going to reduce crime is it?  Then here is a list of all people who should be strip searched on a daily basis in order to avoid any unpleasantries:

Every student in every school in the country…right after the pledge of allegiance during home room
Every CEO and CFO of any corporation grossing more than one million dollars annually
Meredith Salinger (’round my place after tea)
Anyone watching any reality TV show (these people are ready to snap at any moment)
Every single politician in the country – perhaps hourly.

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Filed under america, clothing, common sense, crime, culture, dumbass, government, legal, life, news, politics, stupidity, useless politicians

we have lost our minds

NYC Bans Halloween, Birthdays, Aliens and More on School Tests

Students in New York City’s public schools cramming for tests can delete words like birthdays, junk food, Halloween, dinosaur and even dancing from study lists.
References to such words have been banned from city-issued tests in an edict issued by the city’s Department of Education for fear the words could “appear biased” or “evoke unpleasant emotions” in students.

The department included the list of 50 banned topics in a recently issued request for proposals to companies interested in creating new versions of tests given to New York City students throughout the year to measure progress in  English, math, science and social studies.

“Some of these topics may be perfectly acceptable in other contexts but do not belong in a city- or state-wide assessment,” reads the request, first obtained and reported on by the New York Post.

Dinosaurs, the Post reports, were banned because they reference evolution, which fundamentalist students might not agree with.  Birthdays are not celebrated by Jehovah’s Witnesses and Halloween suggests paganism, so they are not allowed, and so is dancing because some sects object, according to the paper.

Also on the list of topics that companies are asked to stay away from are “creatures from outer space,” homes with swimming pools, computers, vermin, junk food, abuse, terrorism, divorce, any references to disease and holidays.”

are you fucking kidding me?????  (editorial comment is mine)

A spokeswoman for the Department of Education told the Post the banned topics do not constitute censorship but a way for “students to complete practice exams without distraction.”

The city is in line with creating guidelines for its tests but the list of forbidden topics runs twice as long as one recently issued by a group of states, according to the Post.

Companies have until April 23 to submit their proposals.

The results of student testing in New York City public schools gained an even higher profile earlier this year when the Education Department released data estimating the performance  of more than 12,000 teachers in the city’s public schools.  The teacher evaluations, released in February, are based primarily on how students in their classrooms perform on the city’s standardized tests.

Of course.  It’s never about learning or thinking…it’s about standardized tests…which means it’s about MONEY.

In the meantime, I think they missed some additional words that should be banned…

Mother – for those that don’t have one
Father – ditto
Parents – ditto ditto
Sister/Brother – for those that lost one in a drug shootout
sports of any kind – for those n0t gifted athletically or wearing a prosthetic
art – for those not artistic
reading/books/magazines – for those who are blind
music/concerts/talking – for those that are deaf
food – for those who may not have enough

NYC’s DofE are slackers….

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Filed under america, culture, education, news, NYC, stupidity