Some people get impeached, some get fired. Others get RIF’d – which is the PC term for getting your ass kicked out of the door. Some even give a couple weeks notice. I did none of the above.
Handed in my stuff and walked out. I figured it was that or have totally inappropriate breakdown. Who needs that? It was not done with hysterics or emotion or ranting and raving or anything destructive. I was very calm in turning in my gear to HR and saying “See ya!”
Ballsy move you ask? Why yes it is. Certainly not without risks and trapdoors, but life is nothing without a little adventure. The Mrs. would debate that point but I assured her that there are many variations to peanut butter and jelly that can be employed and that I had it on good assurance that both dogs will willingly share their kibble – to a point.
There is always a plan B, of course. I was able to reserve a top-flight GE Refrigerator box at the local appliance store, complete with intact top and bottom covers and heavy inserts for stability.
while we’re on the subject of booze, let me just take a moment to say that there is not enough produced in Kentucky to make my daily eight hours of oligarch duty palatable in any way shape or form. You know how the internet is clogged with graphics and pundits all saying “do what you love”? WTF? How the frig does that happen? Maybe it’s up to some creative sales and marketing genius to flog certain beverages not found at
FourFiveTen Starbuck’s in new and invigorating ways to make the days less mind-numbing and soul-sucking. FYI – images blatantly stolen from Mike’s Mumbles.
God, please silence my erring tongue so that it can be used to do only your will and speak of love and grace.
Please keep me from reminding my fellow-man of his faults and foibles that I should not cast judgement without looking in the mirror.
Please remind me that comparing certain fellow workmates to certain species of invertebrates is not in course with your wishes.
Nor should I remind them that there are certain strains of yet undiscovered tree fungus that have more common sense than those who share my cube farm.
Please guide me to reach out with a gentle touch instead of the warranted 2 by 4 to the head.
Help me to pray for those in need of guidance in that they may avoid the wrath of a high-speed drill applied to their inner ear.
It is in your name that I seek the patience required to endure their badgering and monosyllabic babbling that is supposed to represent intelligent human speech.
At the end of the day, I ask your blessing on this flock, your servants, that they safely find their way home to their pastures, to their grasslands overrun with berserk wheat threshers.
Thy will, not mine, be done.
So today is the big company picnic where the employees get to go romp and play in the sunshine, eat catered food and form groups of the usual cliques around the …well…wherever they are going. I, on the other hand, am a contractor and therefore not permitted to take place in such frivolities. That’s okay. This comes up every year and while it does feel exclusionary I know it is at the hands of the legal beagles flapping their Brooks Brother’s capes that this situation exists.
Anyway, I’m in the elevator this morning with an employee I sort of know..at least enough to say ‘hi’ by name and he does so in kind. He asks if I am going today and I say, no, I’m a contractor…
Him: really? i thought you were an employee.
Me: no. i’ve been a contractor for 11 years.
Him: (gets puzzled look on his face – i know what this look means as I encounter it on almost a weekly basis. It’s a look that means to say “And you’re not an employee yet because???”)
Me: No one has ever asked.
Him: I’m going to order you a red stapler. You’re like that guy on Office Space.
Great. Thanx. That really boosts my ego to know I’m thought of as Milton. Go have fun at your picnic, douche-rocket…
excuse me, i’m due back in the basement now…
If you have not heard about this, you probably will. It seems a lifeguard in florida was fired after saving a drowning man. The lifeguard was alerted that a man was having trouble in the water outside of the area the lifeguard company – Jeff Ellis and Associates – was liable to protect, so the guard broke “a company policy” to go save the man’s life. Once the man was whisked off to the hospital, the guard filed a report, as they have to do, and was immediately dismissed. The company claims it was a liability issue. So here, once again, we have lawyers and insurance companies dictating, not only company policy, but – literally – who should live and who should die. Thank god the lifeguard used his BRAIN and COMMON SENSE rather than listening to his management morons. A college kid in a minimum wage job acting with more brains and courage than the overpaid idiots he
works worked for…
I put the cast rendition of this beautiful song up for a reason. I miss being part of a group of people who give a shit about each other and are working toward a common goal. I’ve done stage plays in high school and college and there is nothing better; most (if not all) the petty shit falls away, even with people who clash, as everyone wants the final product to shine. All this is missing from the current workforce..at least it is from my experience. My work place is nothing but paranoid power mongers who care less about the people who work for them. There is no team spirit, no guiding force…NO LEADERSHIP…just incompetent management. What a sad way to live a life. It’d give anything to be part of a group of people with brains, compassion, drive, vision and a real sense of community…not the fake corporate propaganda that gets spit at the workers every day. Can you tell I’m fucking fed up with it?
Filed under life, music, work