Tag Archives: Amazon

the reviews are pouring in….

well…one or two of them anyway…

“I would encourage readers to have a backbone if they are going to read this novel…” – Ionia Martin, Readful things blog.com

“…caught my attention right from the start and just held on tightly!” – MaryAnn Koopmann, Author Offerings From The Oven

“He’s such a good boy…” – my Mom.  Probably.  At some point.

More From Amazon.com !!!




Filed under Books

It’s time to get TWISTED….

You like mysteries?  Humor?  Romance?  Sex?  Violence?  Serious Attitude Problems?  Yeah, this book has that and more.

My first novel, Twisted Ties has been published and is available in many formats.

In addition, Chynna Lennox, the book’s protagonist, has been chosen Sexy Heroine of the Week for the week of May 16th on Book Babe’s outstanding blog!

For all you Goodreads members, you can enter a chance to win a free copy right now until April 3rd!

Please check out the FacePlant Books website to get your copy today!!!!!

Get Twisted!!!!



Filed under Books

spark of Henry VIII

I have not mentioned this before but over the past year I have become a rabid Jeff Dunham fan.  I mean rabid to the point where the family forbids me to touch the Roku remote to bring Netflix to life, or banishes me to the computer to watch YouTube clips. Now, I am of the mind when someone provides me much enjoyment for free I need to take the action to support the artists effort. I have bought books after borrowing them from the library just as a show of support.  I figure Dunham has made me laugh enough in the past year that he was due some consideration.  So I purchased his latest DVD, Controlled Chaos and a previous Comedy Central special, Spark of Insanity from Amazon.

Imagine my surprise when I opened the following…

and inside was the following…

and, no, it was not just a label switch.  It was The Other Boleyn Girl.  I’m trying to fathom how that could happen.  I could see if it was a different Dunham special, or possibly some other stand up comic, but historical drama?  Do the runs at the packaging plant really come that close together?  Strange….


Filed under comedy, humor

No Joke

It took me two and a half hours to burn one fucking CD tonight. You’d think after spending all this time ruining my eyes on computer screens for the past 18 years I’d be accorded a little SLACK…but nooooOOOOOOOOooooooo….

While with the boy et al on Easter Sunday, we were cruising around Philly looking for a non-crowded breakfasting hole. The car CD jukebox flipped to No Joke by the Meat Puppets for about 6 seconds before the laser lens started jumping across the CD like Aretha Franklin scrambling across a frozen lake to reach the ham sandwich on the far shore. The boy pipes up, “Hey can I grab that from you?”. No prob, except that we both forgot. So being the A+ Dad I thought I’d burn a copy. Now if either of the Kirkwood boys are reading this…chill. We (boy and I) have bought our share of your product including TWO copies of No Joke so I think that entitles us to make a copy to keep between ourselves, don’t you? Jesus, Amazon doesn’t even carry the damn CD anymore except through resellers and iTunes doesn’t sell it at all.

Anyway, I burn a copy. Now if you remember back a week or so ago to my little adventure disassembling the laptop? OK. So I’m using an older, slower laptop that doesn’t even have a 2.0 USB port. It has a single slow port into which I have hooked this USB octopus looking thing in order to run my many gadgets. Although ‘run’ is a relative term…drag is more apropos.

Anyway, I burn a copy. Takes awhile. Out it pops. I stick it in the CD player. It starts. It starts with a short but loud electronic fart just before the music begins. Probably last less than an eighth of a second. Now I am generally not a type-A personality, unless we are discussing my music (Books and food should probably be included to be safe). Don’t fuck with my music, ever. In any way shape or form. And it has to be RIGHT. This audio raspberry is totally unacceptable. Now I have two options: re-burn or edit.

Remember the pieces of laptop? Well that had my editing software on it, and I cannot for the life of me find the original disk. I should mention that I record everything in .WAV format…the hell with MP3s. Hate ’em. By this time my machine has frozen up on me..completely…it’s something that happens almost every time because of a conflict between iTunes and my iOmega burning software. So, reboot. Number 1.

Once back online (a fifteen minute deal…it’s like waiting for the tubes to warm up in an old black and white TV from the fifties) I start searching for some editing software. I actually found this cool little open source tool that suites my needs for the time being (thanx, Greg). OK. I edit the fart. It’s gone.

Let’s burn again. This takes about 20 minutes so I figure now is a good time to hit the reading library, relieve myself and start up a new SuDoKu puzzle. When I return the screen saver has kicked in. I move the mouse..nothing happens except the saver freezing. I figure I’ll wait for the Edsel to catch up with itself. Fifteen minutes. No dice. Screen is frozen. Reboot #2.

Burn attempt #3. I go nowhere. I stand guard while sitting, finishing the book I’m reading while manically moving the mouse every 30 seconds. Finally done. I go to play it. Nope. Screen frozen. Reboot #3.

So now it’s quarter to two (and there’s no one in the place) and my eyes have long popped out of my head and are dangling on my cheeks like an old Tex Avery cartoon.

The kid better appreciate this….

I am soooooooo getting a MacBook….well, after I get a job anyway.


Filed under music, technology