I’ve always loved that word: suckwad. It has just the right combination of derision and humor without being horrifically offensive. Toe-sucking pygmy is another one, although I guess that’s now offensive to pygmies so I might have to curb that one. Dillweed was a popular one growing up. And while there is certainly value in epithet foundations like shit-head and douche bag, there is much promise in some of the more recent creations like douche rocket (or it’s cousin douche nozzle), fuck stick and asshat. Of course combinations of any or all of the above, especially when coupled with certain members of the wild – like moose or horse, lend a certain flair to one’s prose style.
Especially when describing co-workers. Or certain relatives. Or politicians. Or radio and TV talk show hosts.